Have you ever seen a person make someone else feel so small with words that the individual on the receiving end of them has no fight left in them, and whose only choice is to look down towards the ground? Ashamed, humiliated, worthless, pointless? I have seen this happen before & I have been wondering lately how as humans, we are able to do this to one another and act as though nothing has happened?
Question 2: Why are some people are able to move forward seamlessly in the path they desire at whatever pace they desire and conversely why do some people seem to get stuck and end up in the same cycle of repeat repeat repeat and are never able to push on, move forward, seek new horizons? I wanted to spend some time putting some thought in to this and more so to get to the bottom of why these behaviours happen and potentially get to the source. Clearly there can be many contributing factors such as opportunity and some would say that there is an element also of taking personal responsibility too.
These all play a role for sure, but after many hours of musing, I think I have perhaps got to one of the root causes of what some people never look deeply enough within to realise, and you guessed it: Self Esteem. The concept of self-esteem by definition is “confidence in one’s own worth or abilities, self-respect”. What’s important to understand here is that self-esteem starts to be built (or not) before we turn eight, which is an age where we realise the world is judging us each and every day. Many inspirational speakers will tell you “‘f’ what others think, do it your way”. Easier said than done if you have no self-esteem or foundation to build on. What I do feel strongly about though and want to make clear is that adults can and should still absolutely work on their self-esteem in order to make the world a better place.
I have come up with a formula from my own observations which I hope will in some way help as you start this process.
- The foundation “Know Thyself”: Know where you came from – understand where you came from, be comfortable in this & be content.
- The building blocks: Identify what you love to do, what makes you feel good, and if you want to go one level deeper, identify your purpose in life which can take more time.
- The execution “Work it every day”: Do this often, to make you feel enriched and build your self-esteem through passions, projects, things you love to do and can feel proud of and spend time with people who don’t pass judgement, those who simply support, push & hold you accountable to the mission that you have set.
Showing love, showing care, kindness & empathy are bedrocks to help someone build their self-esteem. There is a famous phrase which I have quoted previously from Jesse Jackson “never look down on someone unless you’re helping them up”. In the context of this article I would challenge this sentiment and say ‘let’s all help each other up, no matter your walk of life, your background, your past, and let’s work on it, tirelessly to create a future where the whole world can all flourish and be happy.